I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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