just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
