I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
