Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she woke up with a sticky ear
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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