I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
