Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
