I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
