i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize