How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize