I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
