dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize