I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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