Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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