Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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