And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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