Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you made out with another girl for some wings
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
