what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
