Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
