I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
