You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
