We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
