You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
