Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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