at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
