my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
