Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize