all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
