if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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