I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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