I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
