can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
