If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
