Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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