8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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