I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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