I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
