She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
