Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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