No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
