dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
