I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
