how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I love you. Go after that dick
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
