Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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