my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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