My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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