He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize