But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
