so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
