Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
