Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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