wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
