Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
