Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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