He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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