im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
