he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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