Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he thought i was a dude.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
