The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
