Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize