u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
