Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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