Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have tasted many bathrooms
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
