He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize