Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
