Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize