I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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