Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
