I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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