break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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