So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
